these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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