The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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