He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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