the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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