where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
