she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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