I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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