first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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