dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
