can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We are two peas in an std pod
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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