Don't you send me to vm
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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