he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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