I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
