i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Vodka?
Forever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize