Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
