bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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