the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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