Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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