sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
