Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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