dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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