your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The power of my boobs compel you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
