I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
