My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
