Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
