I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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