i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
