My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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