The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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