rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
