as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I want to fling myself into the sun
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
