I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
