3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
