eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
