ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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