Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
