i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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