I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
