so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
