Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
