its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
