I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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