Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
