Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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