Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
