Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
