Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
