Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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