If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
