he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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