On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sorry about my life...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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