If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I got inside last night via doggy door
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
