i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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