We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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