When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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