I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your penis caused this!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
