No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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