We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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