Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
