your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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